Now you've found a new star to orbit
It could be love
I think you're too soon to call us old
When and where did we go cold?

雨下整夜 我的愛溢出就像雨水

why do i weep in despair over a broken soul who may have once liked me?
people move on, life goes on, people date other people, others break up, i'm still as single as i have ever been, 1.5 months left to Year 2
so here's to more exciting times ahead & a first class honours already ffs ☆☆

When you say you won't forget me
I can tell you that's not true
'cause every day since you left me
I've thought less and less of you

And I've worn out all the reasons
To keep on knocking at your door
Could be the changing of the seasons
But I don't love you
Anymore

//keep pushing, keep striving//
i may have done many extra curricular things in my life but have never been exceptional at them, just very average.

so if there's one thing within my control it's my grades

i haven't done enough in my life so i'm actually worth nothing if i don't get a fucking first class
if anything at all, i want people to look at my grades & be like "wow a first class that's pretty good!" instead of "wow a 2:1 thats not too bad, o hey you did piano and dance too.. but if you had a first... maybe we'd hire you"

had a mental breakdown last night because i couldn't do a past paper but after releasing all the bitter tears i felt better. i guess it's time to ditch the thought that i'd get math concepts in a split second like i used to. And it's just not possible to do papers at lightning speed (like A levels) anymore. time to readjust my expectations.

8 more days till finals are overrrrrr i got diz

i can safely say that the time, the worst decisions make for the best lessons

//so far that's how my year seems to look like to be honest// 

\\& less than a week till i turn 20\\

so blessed not to have veered too far off the track despite all the nonsense things i've done 

And be near
Just for the moment
Stay here
Never go home

i've got so much to do i am barely surviving
also i keep getting distracted by.. lots of things, so upsetting

like all the boys i've liked before i look back at you and wonder what the actual fuck was i thinking.

trying to find something to motivate me more
but so far the strongest motivator is ... lobster
like i'd want to work so hard and become successful next time and earn enough money to have lobsters on weekends

how strange and idealistic

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Ellie Goulding was a serious 10/10
I can't even
So here's a video of her performing Army (the main reason why I went)

You'd think that she doesn't sound too good in real life (cause her studio recordings do sound a bit edited), but she was so so so good, and this song just strikes a chord in me

i am very done with uni
with relationships in uni
with everything in uni
5 assignments a week, 18 hours of lessons - it's taking a toll on me

Tried to keep you close to me,
But life got in between.

over the weekend i headed over the Leeds to visit Alyssa

there's something heartwarming about the fact that there's someone in the same continent as you, who understands you better than you understand yourself (sometimes, well mostly). 

i've certainly missed the company of old friends; everything's such a blur in Warwick.

i feel as if time is being wasted away with every second where i don't do anything productive 

there's this constant grind to x amount of things by the end of the day 

cook proper meals, study, reflect, repeat kinda thing 

but i must say i am truly enjoying myself here, though i'm still in the search of better acquaintances  

A Millennial’s Guide to Kissing

I don’t know what else could have happened. But I wonder what we collectively lose as we try so hard not to care. We pretend that it doesn’t matter, that we have time, that because we are young we are invulnerable.

“I think many overseas Singaporeans choose to live or work in another country they think is on par with, or is better than Singapore,” he said. “While being overseas may be great, no matter what, there is no place like home.”

http://www.overseassingaporean.sg/articles/d/singapore-to-london-by-jeep-20000km-15-countries-66-days

What good is it, to dwell on old feelings for a person.

Re-reading old messages and all isn't doing me any good. 

But sometimes I just miss what we had & what we did together.

No matter the number of people i hang out with, nothing will replace the experience i had with you cause it was unique, just like every other encounter with a different person.
So are you that hard to replace then?