Finally found his old ringtone
It would always ring until 她的名字叫小薇 before getting cut off
Showing posts with label 阿公. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 阿公. Show all posts
Friday, 15 May 2015
Friday, 1 May 2015
rage, rage against the dying of the light
Last night i had a dream about ah gong
He appeared at the door of my study room, asking for this piece of worksheet my sister did up for him. My sis did up this simple fill in the blanks in English for him to help him pick up a few words. So I took it off her table and handed it to him. Then after flipping to the second page or so, he said, "Wah, 那么多！"
So i took the paper from him and i understood why cause my sister accidentally attached her Math worksheets to the back of it. So in my halting Chinese I replied him, "没有啦阿公，只有这两张纸。"
He nodded in relief but he couldn't see quite well cause of the poor lighting. So he came into my room (which I realise he never does) and went to my window behind my table. Learning against the window grille, he lifted his spectacles and perched it on his forehead. He held the paper up so the sunlight would shine on it and started reading what my sister did for him.
So the strange thing was, I was looking at him as he read the paper and realised, ah gong is still around and he's still very much alive. Wait, hasn't he passed away? The dream was so real that I forgot that it wasn't reality anymore. And i just thought, okay this is just a dream, I'll wait till I wake up. So in my dream, I woke up (this dream has 2 layers) and I went to blog about it (like what I'm doing now). And after I was done with this blog post, I woke up.
Throughout this whole dream he was wasn't looking gaunt or sickly, he looked like how I would've liked to remember him - as fit as he was around 2008. My mum was saying how it's a sign that he's encouraging me to work hard for STEP / if you look at things in a different light (pun not intended) i may actually be able to do things better / that he's learning English in heaven hahaha
I'm so happy that I dreamt of him, it's almost a year since his death sigh
It just seemed like yesterday that my sister and I were rushing to watch Totally Spies at 3pm and had to compete with him to get to the TV before his 黄金年华 started at the same time
or the time where he would buy prata for us as our afternoon snack which we didn't like but now i wish someone did that
or the times where he would unknowingly interrupt our family conversations and we had to take turns to talk to our mum about our day
or the times where he would carry our bags and walk us to school when from P1 all the way till I was P5
or the times he would bring lunch for my sister and i when we had CCA and walk us home after that
Just last weekend my parents and I went back to his old flat at Holland to leave a document there
And the house was so filthy oh god the tenant there didn't even clean and my aunt who usually does that has been very busy lately so the 3 of us just did the job
I think this was by far the most disgusting thing I've ever done like the drain choked and sewage started seeping into the house?! Or talk about that dead lizard dangling off the cupboard
Everything was so grimy and greasy even mopping twice couldn't get rid of much.
But then I saw this calendar he had in the living room. It's the type you can buy at the market, with the big Chinese words and auspicious dates marked on it. Every morning he would cross out the date and it was a bit chilling to realise that no more dates have been crossed out since the Sunday of his death last year. I still don't know what to think of it. And now as I'm typing this, I realise that I have this calendar for the year 2014 hanging beside my table that he got for me. The type where it's a day to a page and you can rip off the thin paper once the day is done. He'll buy it for me every year. But each year I'll forget to use it and leave it hanging until the next year then I'll throw it away. But 2015 has come and it's still there.
He appeared at the door of my study room, asking for this piece of worksheet my sister did up for him. My sis did up this simple fill in the blanks in English for him to help him pick up a few words. So I took it off her table and handed it to him. Then after flipping to the second page or so, he said, "Wah, 那么多！"
So i took the paper from him and i understood why cause my sister accidentally attached her Math worksheets to the back of it. So in my halting Chinese I replied him, "没有啦阿公，只有这两张纸。"
He nodded in relief but he couldn't see quite well cause of the poor lighting. So he came into my room (which I realise he never does) and went to my window behind my table. Learning against the window grille, he lifted his spectacles and perched it on his forehead. He held the paper up so the sunlight would shine on it and started reading what my sister did for him.
So the strange thing was, I was looking at him as he read the paper and realised, ah gong is still around and he's still very much alive. Wait, hasn't he passed away? The dream was so real that I forgot that it wasn't reality anymore. And i just thought, okay this is just a dream, I'll wait till I wake up. So in my dream, I woke up (this dream has 2 layers) and I went to blog about it (like what I'm doing now). And after I was done with this blog post, I woke up.
Throughout this whole dream he was wasn't looking gaunt or sickly, he looked like how I would've liked to remember him - as fit as he was around 2008. My mum was saying how it's a sign that he's encouraging me to work hard for STEP / if you look at things in a different light (pun not intended) i may actually be able to do things better / that he's learning English in heaven hahaha
I'm so happy that I dreamt of him, it's almost a year since his death sigh
It just seemed like yesterday that my sister and I were rushing to watch Totally Spies at 3pm and had to compete with him to get to the TV before his 黄金年华 started at the same time
or the time where he would buy prata for us as our afternoon snack which we didn't like but now i wish someone did that
or the times where he would unknowingly interrupt our family conversations and we had to take turns to talk to our mum about our day
or the times where he would carry our bags and walk us to school when from P1 all the way till I was P5
or the times he would bring lunch for my sister and i when we had CCA and walk us home after that
Just last weekend my parents and I went back to his old flat at Holland to leave a document there
And the house was so filthy oh god the tenant there didn't even clean and my aunt who usually does that has been very busy lately so the 3 of us just did the job
I think this was by far the most disgusting thing I've ever done like the drain choked and sewage started seeping into the house?! Or talk about that dead lizard dangling off the cupboard
Everything was so grimy and greasy even mopping twice couldn't get rid of much.
But then I saw this calendar he had in the living room. It's the type you can buy at the market, with the big Chinese words and auspicious dates marked on it. Every morning he would cross out the date and it was a bit chilling to realise that no more dates have been crossed out since the Sunday of his death last year. I still don't know what to think of it. And now as I'm typing this, I realise that I have this calendar for the year 2014 hanging beside my table that he got for me. The type where it's a day to a page and you can rip off the thin paper once the day is done. He'll buy it for me every year. But each year I'll forget to use it and leave it hanging until the next year then I'll throw it away. But 2015 has come and it's still there.
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